The Toadstool Tales
by PeverellForever
Summary: A revised version of the Tales of Beedle the Bard, written by Beatrix Bloxam. Instead of filling children's minds with evil, they fill their minds with happy thoughts, preserving their innocence. Or they just make children want to puke.
1. The Wizard and the Hopping Pot

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter! Yay! What? What'd you mean I don't? What? Oh, fine. Ruin my happy fantasy. I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: In The Tales of Beedle the Bard, it almost sounds like this story was meant to be about the son and his dollies (why the son would play with dolls is beyond me) but I couldn't figure out how to make that work without writing a completely different story, so I just changed a few words in the ending.

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><p><strong>The Wizard and the Hopping Pot<strong>

**Adapted by Beatrix Bloxam**

Once upon a time in a charming, happy village there lived a wonderfully kind old wizard who always used his magic for being a good person and helping his neighbors. He didn't tell his neighbors that he had magic (because they were Muggles and that might have made them unhappy), instead he told them that all the help he gave them came from his wonderful, cute little golden cooking pot. In this happy village, people from all around came to give his little pot a stir, cure their poorly tum-tums, and make their lives wonderful and happy again.

When this old wizard had reached a great age, he left the charming village, leaving all of his possessions to his only son. His son was not a generous person like his father. Instead, he was an old grumpy-wumpkins who didn't like all of the people from the charming village. He didn't want to be a good person and help them out like his father did.

When his father left the town, the son, whose name was Willykins, found the cute little golden pot sitting in his kitchen. He didn't like the pot, because he was just too much of a grumpy old pumpkin to see what a wonderful cute little thing it was.

The night after his father left, Wee Willykins heard a knock at his door. He opened it and saw a woman from the village standing there. She was unhappy, and wanted to make everything right by stirring Wee Willykin's cooking pot, but Wee Willykins just shut the door in her face like a mean old Dobby's Sock.

When Wee Willykins returned to his kitchen, he found the little golden pot hoppity, hoppity, hopping around the kitchen in a dejected sort of way on its tiny rosy toes.

"WHERE THE #$% DID YOU GET A FOOT FROM?" shouted Willykins… I mean… sorry, ignore that last line.

Wee Willykins was very surprised that the pot had sprouted a cut little foot, and it made him sad that his cute pot was so upset, but he didn't know what to do about it.

Several more unhappy people came to his door, wanting to give Wee Willykin's pot a stir, but he didn't let any of them stir it, because he was so grumpy and mean.

Then Wee Willykins realized something. I can help out all of my fellow villagers and make them happy, he thought. Then my pot will be happy to, and everyone can live a long happy life.

Wee Willykins left his house, and said he's sorry to all of the villagers he was mean to, just like a good boy should. He used his magic to help all of the villagers, just like his kind father did.

*Then the little golden pot danced with delight—hoppity hoppity hop!—Wee Willykins had cured them all of their poorly tum-tums and unhappiness, and the little pot was so happy that it filled up with sweeties for Wee Willykins and the villagers!

"But don't forget to brush your teethy pegs!" cried the pot, suddenly gaining a voice.

And Wee Willykins kissed and huggled the pot and promised to always help the villagers and never to be an old grumpy-wumpkins again. *

The End

*The text between the stars is more or less from The Tales of Beedle the Bard, pages 18 and 19.*


	2. The Fountain of Fair Fortune

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Sorry.

A/N: I would like to thank Bea aka The Epic Ninja for helping me out with this chapter.

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><p><strong>The Fountain of Fair Fortune<strong>

High on a bright, sunny hill in an enchanted garden, enclosed by tall walls and protected by strong magic, flowed the beautiful Fountain of Fair Fortune.

Once a year, between the hours of sunrise and sunset on the longest day, a single lucky-ducky person was given a chance to make their way up the bright hill to the Fountain, dip their tosykins in its waters, and receive fair fortune forever and ever.

On that happy day, hundreds of people traveled from all over the kingdom to get the chance to dip their rosy-tosies in the sparkling waters of the lovely fountain.

Three little girly-poos met on the outskirts of the crowd and told each other stories about why they felt so sad.

The first, who was named Rosy, had a poorly tum-tum that no one would cure because they were all too much of a meany-poo-grumpy-wumpkins. She hoped that if she dipped her little tosies in the water, she would be all better, and unicorns would dance on rainbows.

The second, who was named Susie, had had her precious little dolly stolen from her by a grumpy wumpy bully. She hoped that once she bathed in the sparkling fountain, the bully would realize what a meany-poo he had been, and give it back like a good boy.

The third, who was named Bellatrix, had been dumped by Voldemort, and she felt her heart would never mend. She hoped that the fountain would relieve her of her grief and longing.

Whoops… let's try that again.

The third, who was named Janie, was being bullied by one of her friendly-poos. She wanted the bully-wully to stop, so she was going to go to the fountain to make her stop. If she bathed in the fountain, she knew that the world would be bright and happy, with no thestrals or thunderstorms to scare the little kiddy-poos.

They all felt sorry for each other, so they decided to be good friendly-kins and go the the fountain together!

The smiley, bright, shiny sun peeked its rosy face over the horizon. Everyone wanted to go to the garden to become good happy-kins, but only the three littly witchy-witches and a little boy knight name Sir Lucky-Ducky with a fatty little pony got to go into the charming-warming little garden.

Everyone in the crowd was sooo sadly because they did not get a chance to go into the beautiful garden, but they were smart little children, so they knew that they might get a chance next year. They had to be good ickle kiddy-poos and be patient.

Rosy and Susie were being little grumpy-kins when the knight came with them. They knew that only one goodly child would get to dip their littly-rose-tosies in the sparkly dihydrogen Monoxide...that is...water, (A/N: Sorry, that was a lame science class joke), and they thought that Sir Lucky-Ducky might get to instead of them.

Bellatrix then became angry and threatened to… I mean, their grumpiness made Janie upset, so she told them so, "You guys… I think we should all go together. Maybe we can make friends with Sir Lucky-Ducky. Don't be such grumpy bunnies."

Rosy and Susie saw the smartness of what Janie was saying, and decided to take the knight along.

Now, the little kiddies traveled through the beautiful garden, marveling at all the sparkling pools, beautiful herbs, and rosy little red flowers. They reached the foot of the marvelous and prettyful hill that the magical sparkling lucky fountains stood.

But there the saw a beautiful bird with red and gold feathers standing on the path. The birdy-wirdy saw them and flew up into the sky, its feathers lit by the smiling face of the rosy sun. Suddenly, like the smart little child that she was, Rosy realized that they were supposed to follow the pretty, shining bird. When she told this to the other children, flowers sprouted out of the ground for them, as well as ity-bitty fruties of all kinds. Rosy picked up a fruity and ate it. It was very delicious. Suddenly, her tummy ache was gone, but she decided to go the fountain with the rest of them like a good friendly-wendly should.

Well, all the ickle kiddy-poos waded through the happy field of flowers and fruit until they got to a sign in the ground. It read:

GOOD JOB!

YOUR ALMOST THERE!

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

But the little kiddies were all tired from walking for a long time. They wanted to sit down and rest their tinsy weesy feeties. But Susie wanted to keep going, "I think we should keep going," she said, "We don't want to be outside after dark, or we won't get to bed on time."

The other kiddies didn't want to be up to late that night, or they would be tired in the morning, so they got up, and kept walking up the beautiful hill, towards the sparkling lucky fountain.

At that moment, Susie realized that she didn't have to bathe in the shining sparkling lucky magical fountain. If she could stand up to her friends, then she could stand up to that grumpy-wumpy bully and tell him to give her her teddy bear back. However, she was a good friendly-wendly too, so she kept going with her friends.

When they were almost at the fountain, the four friendlies came to a stream. It was sparkly and shiny in the smiling sun's brightly light. At this point, Sir Lucky-Ducky said that they should wade across it. The girly-wirlys didn't want to do this, because they thought it might be too deep, and they shouldn't swim anywhere without adult supervision. But Sir Lucky-Ducky was brave, so he walked into the sparkly warlkly water, and he found out that it was only about fifteen centimeters deep. The girlies were very happy about this, and they followed Sir Lucky-Ducky. They also apologized for being such grumpy-wumpkins at the beginning of their journey.

Bellatrix then took out her wand and kill… I mean, Janie watched Sir Lucky-Ducky as he stepped out of the water on the other side. He seemed like a much better friend than any friend who bullied her back home. She decided that she would invite him over for a play date when they all got back home.

Because all the girlies had realized that they didn't need to bathe in the fountain, they let Sir Lucky Ducky bathe. He was very happy, and when he came out, he realized what good friends they all were. The little boy then said, "You are very good friends. Do you want to come over to my house when we get out of the garden?"

All the little girlies were very happy about this, and as they all nodded, the fountain began to spurt out sweets instead of water for the girlies and the little boy knight. Not one of them realized that this was the only enchantment that the fountain carried. Another inscription appeared out of the ground as they walked back down the hill, arm in arm, eating their candy:

DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETHY-PEGS!


	3. Babbity Rabbity and Her Giggling Stump

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I'm not JK Rowling. If I was, there would be no Harry Potter, and that would be a tragedy.

A/N: Thank you to Bea aka The Epic Ninja for coming up with the name Muggly-wuggly-princy-poo. Also, this one's a bit shorter than the last one because I had to cut out most of the storyline to make it all cutesy. And the title's changed because cackling is too menacing for little kiddy-poos. ;)

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><p><strong>Babbity Rabbity and Her Giggling Stump<strong>

A long time ago, in a far away land filled with flowers and little birdy-wirdies, lived a little muggly-wuggly-princy-poo. He wanted to be a wizard, but he was a Muggle, so he decided to use his imagination and make believe that he could do magic.

His friendly-wendly from another land came over to have a play date at his house one day, and they snapped some little twiggies off a tree [An elder tree! JK] and used their imaginations to pretend that they could do magicy-wagicy.

"Higglty-Pigglty, Jiggery-Pokery, Abra Kedabra!" they shouted as they ran about the yard, pretending to be in a magical land full of fairy-waries and magical cutie-wooty dragons!

But. There was a grumpy-wumpy-meany poo little girl named Babbity [no need to change the name there] standing in the bushies watching the little boys. She was a witchy-b[never mind, I won't finish that word], and she thought that the muggly-wuggly boys looked soooo silly waving their sticks around that she was laughing at them. Little girlies shouldn't do that. It's not nice.

The muggly-muggly-princy-poo's feelings were hurt by the Babbity's laughing, so he went up to her and told her so.

"You hurt my feelings when you laughed at me," he said.

Well, like a good little girly-wirrly, Babbity felt bad that she had hurt his feeling-weelings, and said she's sorry.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," she said. "I'm a witch. How about I help you put on a magic show?"

The muggly-wuggly-princy-poo was so happy at her idea, that he danced in circles in the field of beautiful flowers that they were standing in.

The next day, when the sun peeked its little rosy, smiley head over the horizon the muggly-wuggly-princy-poo invited all his little friends to come over to see his magic show. His daddy the king also came to see it.

The princy first decided to make a hat vansish.

"I will make that little hatty vanish. Hocus Pocus!" he shouted, pointing his little sticky at a hat that one of his little friendly-wendlies was wearing.

Babbity, who was standing at the back of the crowd on a little stumpy-wumpy, pointed his littly real wand at the hat and *poof!* it vanished!

All of the princy-poo's little friends were sooo happy at his amazing trick that they cheered and danced in the bright rosy sun that smiled down on them!

Then, the princy-poo pointed his twiggy at one of his little friendly's doggies. It was cutey-wooty friendly little puppy.

"Now I'm gonna make the puppy fly! Jiggery Pokery!" he shouted again, and Babbity made the cuty-wooty little puppy fly high into the air.

The muggly-wuggly-princy-poo's friends were even happier at this.

Finally, the princy-poo pointed his twiggy at a little flower that was flattened against the ground, because the poor thing had been stepped on when all the little boys and girls were dancing happily.

"I'll make this flower all alive and better again!" said the princy-poo. "Abra Kedabra!"

But poor Babbity didn't know how to make the flower better, so she stood up on her stump and said she was sorry to the crowd.

"I can't make the poorly little flower better," she said. "But I can make everyone some sweeties!"

All the little kiddy-poos cheered at this. They loved candy. So Babbity stood on the stump and made candy appear so that it rained down on the happy children.

Then, to make everyone even happier, she turned herself into a rabbit with a little giggle. [like Umbrige's little laugh!] Then she watched as all the happy children ate the candies. Before turning to hop away, she turned back into a little girl and said,

"Don't forget to brush your teethy-pegs!"

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><p>AN: Abra Kedabra is not supposed to be Avada Kedavra, even though they look similar. I just didn't feel like finding out how to actually spell AbraKedabra.


	4. The Tale of Three Brothers

Disclaimer: According to TVtropes this disclaimer is pointless and even counterproductive. Nevertheless, it is tradition, so I will dutifully state that I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, the world would be a sad place because JK Rowling is a totally amazing author, and I am not.

A/N: Thank you to Bea aka The Epic Ninja (I'm not sure about the spacing in that name) for giving me the idea for this one.

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><p><strong>The Tale of Three Brothers<strong>

Once upon a time, there were three itty-bitty brothers walking down a sun splotched road through a beautiful little garden full of colorful flowers. The smiling sun shone down on them as they came to a beautiful little brook that divided the garden in two. It bubbled and gurgled happily in over the warm earth, wending its way through the garden.

Now, these three little brothers wanted to cross this little brook, but they didn't want to get all wet, and besides, they shouldn't be going in the water without adult supervision. However, these smart little boys took out their wands and made a beautiful bridge across the water. [Please ignore the fact that this is underage wizardry, let's say the tale took place before the decree for the restriction of underage sorcery was passed] The cutsie-wootsie bridge was covered with rainbows and flowers, and it made the little garden an even more cheerful and happy-wappy place to be.

The three cutsie-wootsie itty-bitty brothers were just crossing the bridge when the owner of the little garden walked up to them. He was a very kindly old man with a long white beard, a happy smile, and twinkly-winkly eyes.

And the man spoke to them with his cheerful voice. He was soo happy that the little brothers had made his garden so pretty-witty with a bridge that he offered to give each of them anything they wanted for being such good little boysie-woyises.

The oldest brother, whose name was Andy, asked for a packet of liquorish wands, because they were his favorite candy in the whole world. The kindly-windly old man gave the oldest brother the candy-wandy, and reminded him, "Don't forget to brush your teethy-pegs after you eat them."

So the oldest brother promised him he wouldn't.

Then the second brother (named Carey) asked the old man for something that would make him able to get all the candy he ever wanted, because he almost never had enough of his allowance left for candy. So the old man picked up a stone from the side of the merrily gurgling brook and told him that it would make him all the candy he ever wanted. "But," he said, "You must promise that you won't forget to brush your teethy-pegs."

So the second brother promised him he wouldn't.

And then the kindly-windly old manny-poo asked the littly young brother (Iggy) what he wanted the most, and the little boy told him that the only thing he wanted was a flowery-wowery cloak. So the kindly old man handed the little boy a brown cloak with flowers, moons, and stars on it.

The third brother was so happy that he jumped up and down on his little tosies. Hoppity, hoppity hop.

Then the three little brother-poos left the garden, and went back home.

The next day, Andy was at the playground with some of his Muggley-wuggly friends and one of them was being a grumy-wumpykins. Andy didn't want anyone to be unhappy, so he offered the grumpy-wumpy boy one of the liquorish wands that the kindly-windly cheerful old man had given him. The grumpy-wumpy little boy was so happy that he stopped bean such a meany-poo and said his sorry to all the other little boys.

And the first brother was very happy.

Meanwhile, Carey had taken out his magical rock [please ignore the first exception to Gamp's law of elemental transfiguration. It's a fairy tale] and made some candy appear. Then, he went down to the house of one of his friends who was named Annie, and gave her the candy. She was very happy, and invited him to come over to play at her house.

And the second brother was very happy.

But the third brother, who was a good little kiddy poo, remembered that all of the little boys had forgotten to say thank you to the kindly-windly old man who owned the happy garden with the merrily gurgling and splashing brook, so he went back to the garden and knocked on the oldely man's door. When the merry old man answered, the little boy politely said thank you for the flowery-wowery cloak that the man had given him the previous day. The old man was so happy that the littlest brother was so thoughtful that he invited him to go on a walk together, and, equals, they departed the garden.

And, of course, as they did so, the old man gave the little brother a piece of candy, and said,

"Don't forget to brush your teethy-pegs!"

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><p>AN: Now I will go cry in a corner with the shame of having messed up such a great story. I'm sorry Antioch, Cadmus and Ignotus Peverell! :'(


	5. Censored: The Warlock's BEEP Heart

A/N: Thank you to Bea aka The Epic Ninja for this chapter idea as well. This chapter is an addition to the original Toadstool Tales. Beatrix Bloxam never rewrote The Warlock's Hairy Heart for them originally, so I didn't re-write it, I just BEEPed out the scary parts (practically everything)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal (thank god)

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><p><strong>The Warlock's Hairy Heart<strong>

And now, I, Beatrix Bloxam, present to you, the censored version of the Warlock's Hairy Heart. Please bear in mind that this story traumatized me as a young child. Or, in the words of the infamous Tara, the author of My Immortal:

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

I have tried to beep out the scarier parts.

There was once a handsome, rich, and talented young warlock, who BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP fell in love. The young warlock resolved BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, the warlock's family laughed BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

"All will change," they prophesied, "when a maid catches his fancy!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. The warlock gloried BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, and the warlock's peers began to wed, and then to bring forth children.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP," BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP the young parents around him, "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

And once again he congradulated himself on the wisdom of his choice.

In due course, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP; BEEP BEEP BEEP, he considered himself blessed BEEP BEEP BEEP. Now he reigned BEEP in BEEP castle. BEEP BEEP BEEP greatest treasure BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, he gave himself over to a life of ease and plenty, his comfort the only aim of his many servants.

The warlock was sure BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP splendid and untroubled BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, therefore, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The first servant BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, with all his wealth and power, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

But his companion BEEP, BEEP BEEP a man with so much gold and a palatial castle to his name BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Their words BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP's BEEP. He resolved at once to take a wife, and that she would be a wife superior to all others. She would posses astounding beauty, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP; she would spring from magical offspring, so that their offspring would inherit outstanding magical gifts; and she would have wealth at least equal to his own, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, a maiden answering his every wish arrived in the neighborhood to visit her kinsfolk.

She was a witch of prodigious skill and possessed of much gold. Her beauty was such BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP; BEEP BEEP BEEP, that is, BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Nevertheless, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, so he began to pay her court.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP amazed, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The young woman herself was BEEP fascinated BEEP BEEP by the warlocks attentions. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP warmth of his flattery, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Her kinsfolk, BEEP, deemed theirs a most suitable match, and, eager to promote it, accepted the warlock's invitation to a great feast in the maiden's honor.

The table was laden with silver and gold, bearing the finest wines and most sumptuous foods. Minstrels strummed on silk-stringed lutes and sang of a love their master BEEP BEEP felt. The maiden sat upon a throne beside the warlock, who spake low, employing words of tenderness BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The maiden listened, BEEP, and finally replied, "You speak well, Warlock, and I would be delighted by your attentions, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

The warlock smiled, and told her that BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Bidding her follow, he led her from the feast, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP his greatest treasure.

Here, in an enchanted crystal BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP, BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP beauty, BEEP BEEP a musical voice, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP silken skin. The maiden BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

"BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP?" BEEP BEEP. "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP please her, the warlock BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP crystal BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The touch of her soft white arms, the sound of her breath in his ear, the scent of her heavy gold hair: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The guests at the feast BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP host and the maiden. BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The maiden BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP stroked, vowing BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

In his other hand, he held BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

BEEP BEEP BEEP- BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

BEEP BEEP BEEP, the warlock knelt triumphant, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP; BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP, BEEP BEEP.

Note from Beatrix Bloxam: As you can see from what I wrote, the Warlock and the maiden were happily married and lived happily ever after.

Note from author: Yeah, right.


End file.
